Rules of Life

Time, once again, time to take all my scraps of paper and digitize them one-word-at-a-time.

I‘ve never understood the rules of life. When I was about 10 or 11 years old, as we were driving down the rural cascade mountain highway I asked my father to explain the different meanings of the stripes on the road. Why was there one white stripe on the side, yet double yellows in the center. He told me that you were not allowed to cross the double yellows in the center. Not understanding that meant just for passing other cars I asked what about if a deer jumps in the road in front of you. I was serious, laws don't make sense so it seemed to me a reasonable question concerning police enforcement. (This note has shown up multiple times and although the original intention was to digitize these scraps of paper so I can be less cluttered, I just can't seem to throw it out now)

Tending the Bar.

When I first met jay she had just finished her bartending career and had moved on to deeper and bluer things as a dive instructor. We had been talking about exploring the world together and I thought bartending might be the perfect occupation for me while she was below the waves. She was hesitant, explaining the reality of bartending to me; the energy needed, the dramatic situations created, the overall difficulty of working as drug dealer (albeit, of the legal and socially acceptable type). 

I, however, thought bartending, with its flexibility of schedule, numerous locations, and other perks would be a great way to make money while travelling around the world... so, I exaggerated my bartending experience into a job, much as WMD's exaggerated the US into the golf war... and once I was there I realized how much I didn't know; which was everything. Here is what I have learned since:

Dive Log

PADI Open Water Certified
Underwater Sports Inc.

Sept. 23rd and 24th 2013

Dives 1-4: Group Shore Dive for OW Cert.
Washington Park, Green Point, Anacortes, Wa.
The 23rd (Dive 1-2), great visibility. Saw a few large dungenous crab and an octopus.
The 24th (Dive 3-4), poor visibility with strong currents. Almost panicked. Didn't.
Water temp 13c.

Bucket List

Yi: Run into a university classroom while in session (preferrably philosophy)... and yell,"Lies, its all lies!" and then run out.

Er: Stop smo... Holy Crap, it almost killed me as I was writing it... I laid a cigarette on a lighter because I didn't have an ashtray. So while I was about to type 'stop smoking' the lighter fucking blew up!
Uhmmm, yeah, so #Soong: Stop smoking... or at least switch to matches.
*Almost accomplished, I haven't smoked in a long time, but they say you never really quit.
*Damn it, started again.
*Ok, its all good now, been quite awhile now... about 5 years.

*Two packs during the middle of Covid.

The price of a quote

I just bought a book of quotes. 2,548 of them. I got them on sale for 6.99. That seemed like a good deal per quote. And it would have been alright, if the quotes were categorized... but they are, for the most part, random and unsearchable... so I will give it away as a birthday present. To myself.

I have just realized I am quite unquotable. I closed my eyes and opened the book and pointed to the middle of a page. The quote was, "we are all born charming, fresh, and spontaneous and must be civilized before we are fit to participate in society". Hmmm... let me find some better random quotes. "Truth is beautiful, without doubt; but so are lies" and "a man can be happy with any woman as long as he does not love her" and "whatever deceives seems to produce a magical enchantment". All unrelated?... perhaps.

By the Beard of Zeus

By the Beard of Zeus! I have just epically failed two exams in greek & roman mythology, so I figure this might help:

Divine Myth: Supernatural beings & Forces of Nature and the relationships between them and gods and humans... a story of creation and origin. Outside Time. Begins before humans, gods, the universe even. Sometimes focuses on ritual.

In the beginning there was Void. From the yawning void came Chaos. From the chaos, Eros, Gaia, and Tartarus came into being. Eros is the passion, the guttural desire that all other creation is formed from. Gaia is the goddess that is Earth, and Tartarus is the deep abyss below Gaia. From Gaia: Uranus (the sky), Pontus (the deep sea), and Composition (mountains). 

Olfrygt and other common words

"It is improbable that there was ever such a thing as a common human language."; begins Chapter 12 (The Languages of Mankind) in The Outline of History by H.G. Wells. He continues, "The first languages were probably small collections of interjections and nouns. Probably the nouns were said in different intonations to convey different meanings. If Paleolithic man had a word for 'horse' or 'bear', he probably showed by tone or gesture whether he meant 'bear is coming,' 'bear is going,' 'bear is to be hunted,' 'dead bear,' 'bear has been here,' 'bear did this,' and so on... The growth of speech was at first a very slow process indeed..." 

Things I Love, Adore, Idolize, Lust For (Or merely like)

First: Being Alive. 

Next: Beer. Good Beer. (like Miller High Life - The Champagne of Beers) 

Thirdly: A nice turn in deep & steep powder or landing a new trick for the first time. (Snowboarding) Fourth: Women... I know some of you are thinking, "shouldn't that be right after being alive?" I can only say that, yes, beer is better with women. Same concept for snowboarding. 

FIFth: Rock/Mountain climbing. This is better independently of amorous complications 

6th: Days off work. 

7th: Atomic Badger Racing. 

8: I know its cheesy, but I gotta do it... My Family. 

And, I even love them more than good beer. Well, at least more than Miller High Life. 

Nine: Winning an argument (especially in court). 

10: Finishing Finals Week. SUMMER VACATION HERE I COME!!!

Hehe, this list is so outdated, I just can't bear to revise it. I was so young.

Things I Hate, Loathe, Abhor, Despise and Detest (or just dislike)

Unfortunately this will probably become a very long list. In an effort to keep my cynicism to a minimum there will only be one complaint statement a day.

Numbero Uno: (When 'Blog-surfing') The pink and urine-yellow happy-go-lucky blogspot that does not have a 'next blog' button... seemingly because their creator thinks it must be the end-all, be-all of positive-attitude self-help; the cure-all that will make the world a better place {and be it forbiden to continue on to the next blog in league with Satan himself and those Devilish Imps}.