01100101011010110110110001100101011010110111010001100101011010110000110100001010: India

London & Amsterdam? India. I left for India on a cloudy, rainy, dreary day in March 2002. I don't actually remember the day but I departed from Seattle so I am quite sure it was a day as described. I believe I stopped in London & possibly Amsterdam for a few days layover... but maybe Amsterdam was on the return trip. Or perhaps an entirely different trip altogether.

I get to Dehli (28th of March) and immediately catch a connecting flight to Varanasi... well, not immediately. It took a couple hours to get through customs, catch a bus to the domestic terminal, catch a taxi to the other part of the domestic terminal (or maybe I had caught the wrong bus?), and then shove my way up to the ticket counter to buy my connecting flight ticket. I originally waited in the ticket counter 'line' but that didn't work because they don't have lines in India. There was a funnel/corral, but not a line. Once I wedged up to the front counter it was easy enough to get my ticket and hop on my flight. About an hour out I saw some interesting looking clouds to the north and puzzled over their shape and out-of-place appearance... after a minute I realized that I was looking at the Himalayas. They were eye level with the plane and we were flying at about 20,000 feet! I must say they were some awesome looking mountains and climbing them proper is on my list of things to do.

Varanasi: I land in Varanasi early in the morning and I am met by some Taxi drivers that had red and blue dye covering their clothes and faces, and were definitely stoned on something. It seemed strange to me, but I figure, well this is India then... So we drive into town from the airport and I notice that almost everybody is stoned and covered with color! {My thoughts about the trip at this point: "WTF is India all about?!"} They drop me off downtown with a guide that talks me into severely overpaying my taxi driver & also the guy in the passenger seat "because it is very good luck on this special day". [The special day turned out to be 'Holi Day' and the good luck payed off as you will see later on in the story.]

The guide took me through the twistiest, crookedest, narrowest, down right confusingest damn streets I have ever walked on in my entire life and finally brings me to the hotel where I am supposed to join up with my uncle, whom had been travelling in India and Nepal the past few years. I pay the guide and even though it was again a severely overpriced 'tip' for good luck on this special day, I did save myself from paying exaggerated room rates. My uncle showed up a few days later...

While waiting for him I went to the Durga Temple (Monkey Temple), the most interesting memory I have of that is the auto-rickshaw ride there... The driver, at one point, fit 10 people on that small 3wheeled contraption... people were hanging off the sides and sitting on each others laps. I was in the back with two old ladies and three children. The driver and three old men were clinging to the front and sides. The thing barely had enough power to go. I also took a boat ride on the Ganges during sunrise, and it was almost entrancing enough to make me forget how polluted the sacred river really was. On the same day, but after the boat ride, I had breakfast on the rooftop terrace, which had an excellent view of the Ganges. I saw a river dolphin while eating eggs and drinking chai, and had some monkeys wander up to the table and beg for food. I also slowly got accustomed to the culture (and the shock) of cows in the streets and dead people on the gats, weird 'holi'days, bargaining for everything and shopkeepers/touts getting near physical for your rupee (a couple did get physical), also slowly got accustomed to beer drinking being taboo, but the ganja socially acceptable (although it was technically illegal), and, well, lots of stuff... My uncle eventually showed up explaining he'd "lost a few days somewhere", I found out soon enough how easy it is to "lose a few days somewhere" when travelling. We had a great time in Varanasi, toured around, saw some other temples and things for a few days and then went our separate ways. I make my first big mistake, and take a travel agencies word for how nice the Kaimoor Wildlife Park is in April.

I go on 'Safari'. The official name is Kaimoor Wildlife Sanctuary... but it would have been more appropriate to call it Kaimoor because there wasn't much wildlife and what little there was didn't seem to be in any kind of sanctuary. I stayed at The Tent Retreat in what were deemed "Deluxe Tents", and they were... sorta. There were about 8 tents and each could hold 2-4 people totaling 24 guests max. During the time that I stayed there the guest maximum reached a whopping 1. Me [not counting my taxi driver who stayed there the whole time]. It was nice in a way because the host was only concerned with me. There were three servants doing everything for me, getting me chai, asking every fifteen minutes if I want a snack or a beer (that got old quick) and standing in line to fetch my missed arrows - I got to shoot a bamboo bow (at trees, no hunting allowed... except for poaching... bastard... I'll get to that). So, at dusk on the first evening we go out in some landrovers and spot a lone deer. We proceed to high speed chase the poor deer for a kilometer or so and then the terrain got too rough. The next few days were a little disappointing. I saw a thousand year old cave painting and a quasi-beautiful vista, and there were some waterfalls that would have been much better had there been any water. As far as wildlife goes [or suspicious lack thereof] there was a herd of Sambar and a troop of monkeys over the next 3 days... What really made the trip was on my last day we went to a special hidden valley where I saw the largest, most amazing looking owl (I would guess about 1meter tall... think Secret of Nimh, it even had the 'eyebrows'). On the last night we had a delicious homemade dinner, fresh from the garden, in a light show of fireflies. What ruined the trip was that my suspicions were confirmed when my host asked if I could bring back American night-vision scopes for his rifles... as he needed to 'stop the pigs from digging up his garden at night'.

On the trip back the taxi driver is passing one of the many large trucks on one of the many blind corners and I notice that the mud-flaps on the back of the truck read GOOD on one and LUCK on the other... Yep, being on the roads in India is comparable to driving a Mini Cooper against traffic on a NASCAR track and thinking its a fairly good idea. And if I had a choice it would seem like a fairly good idea. You can't get that kind of excitement many other places.

Out of Pot: Into the Fire... So far the average noon-time temp. was around the mid 90's. I fly from Varanasi to Khajuraho where the high was 38/39 Celsius or around 105. I get an awesome hotel room for really cheap cause nobody else is dumb enough to go there in that temperature [except a Japanese dude who didn't get a room really cheap]. The hotel had marble floors and a marble staircase and that was a bonus because marble manages to stay cool no matter the temperature... as long as it's out of the sun. I soon decide to head for the Himalayas. But before I do I meet Papu, Daru, and Charli. Three youths who offer to tour me around the ancient Khajuraho temples for free. They show me the temples that don't require an entrance fee, hence are not spectacular, but they were interesting, I did find them intriguing and my tour guides told me stories about what all the carvings and sculptures meant, and although I think they added some of their own imagination to the tale it was well worth missing the other attractions (At least I think so, I never saw the main group of temples). On my last day there I purchase some trinkets and souvenirs at Darus' store and was invited to a "picnic" at Papu's house where we would listen to music, make Japati, and drink Daru (A homemade Indian wine, no connection to my hosts name). Unfortunately, it didn't quite turn out that way... I purchased the food for the picnic and then they brought it to a restaurant to have it cooked. We played cards with the bet being that loser would buy the wine. Guess who lost. Of course I didn't know the game and the cards got dealt while I was away from the table, not to say that they cheated, but, well, they did... and the wine I bought turned out to be whisky and they watered it down and I committed the cardinal sin of traveling and drank Indian water. I got sick IMMEDIATELY. I mean within minutes. It was a disappointing picnic all the way around... I left Khajuraho immediately, even as I was shitting and puking everywhere.

Jhansi: It was a four hour taxi ride from Khajuraho but before I left, my friends Charlie, Papu, and Daru (Spelled and pronounced the same as a type of Indian homemade wine) tried getting as many rupees as possible out of me... and I went along with it. We started my last day by me buying food for a 'picnic' then we went to a place that cooked it for us. We played a card game similar to hearts- loser buys wine. After a couple of hands (Game was a total of ten hands) I went to use the toilet and when I came back the cards were dealt. Charlie magically wins the game by sweeping/ clearing the table... Odds were very high of that happening, even higher odds that it would happen after the one time I leave the tent. But I went along with it, they told me they didn't have wine but we could get whiskey. I say ok and bought some whiskey which they water down. I drink some and break the ultimate sin... drinking the water. So I get sick and we all go back to Daru's shop where I buy a brass lotus candle holder, and still manage to talk it down by half even though I'm sick and he was giving me the "friend" price. So after some more minor hassles I spent my last 140 rupees on a taxi to Jhansi. Oh-Damn I just repeated the story... oh-well... Jhansi: Once there I stay in this crap place where only one guy speaks English and the rest just say "Kay?" to all my questions... If you've ever watched Faulty Towers you get the picture. In the hotel a met a guy from Seattle. Only the third American I'd met the whole trip and the second from Seattle, go figure. I was ready to get outta there but I had no rupees... It took me 3 hours to cash a travelers check at the bank. And I was in the fast que.

Orccha: As soon as I had more rupees I left Jhansi for Orccha. All I will say is that Orccha is the most amazing unknown tourist spot that I came across. I meet an Italian there named Mauro (the only other foreigner in Orccha was a French idiot... I won't get into that) and we decided to travel to Jaipur together. It was an amazing trip, lots of beer... saw the Indian version of Evil Knievel... Ended up stopping in some small village and I decided to stay an extra night while Mauro continued on to Jaipur.

Jaipur: I arrived in Jaipur to the most memorable scramble off a bus I have ever endured... Indians don't believe that passengers exiting the bus having right-of-way. My backpack got caught on something (I think it was the shifter) and I turned to free it. As I freed it I got pushed from behind and ended up crowd surfing on the multitude trying to get on the bus... indeed, if there hadn't been so many people at the door to break my fall I would have broken my neck. I didn't bother apologizing, and nobody seemed to care much anyway, they were all too concerned with getting on the bus. I met a hotel tout who was unusually persuasive and when I got to the hotel I found Mauro was staying in an adjacent room... What are the odds for a city of 2.7 million? Come to think of it, I'm not to sure that was Jaipur... hmmmm... No, no, pretty sure it was...Well, where-ever it was, was awesome. Met really cool people and saw the best festivals I had/have ever seen. Not sure what they were about, but they were intense. Got, uhmmm, enibriated... and danced Indian style, and stepped in the gutter with sandals (I won't go into detail about how disgusting that was), and Mauro almost got speared by a bulls horns. It was really close! He got thrown into the street and then jumped back at the bull to protect a British girl we were travelling with at the moment. Then we climbed up on a rooftop and watched the whole procession. Then we all went to a swimming pool and took a midnight swim. Next day we went our seperate ways and I travelled to Dharamsala via a stop in Dehli.

Dharamsala: I don't remember how I got there but I am sure it involved a train or two and some buses. Actually I do remember that as I was leaning out the window of the train (near the city of Leh) and I smelled a wonderful, fresh scent in the air... cannabis. It was growing right next to the tracks, just like the weed it is. And NO, the reason I can't remember the trip to Dharamsala has nothing to do with weed. Upon arrival to the little mountain town I was instantly struck by its contrast to the India I was used to, the most obvious was the look of its' people... most looked Asian. Dharamsala is the city the exiled Dali Lama has made his home, so that was not too surprising, but even the Indian looking Indians had an attitude separate from the other Indians I had met (with one exception). I won't say the town felt spiritual per se but it did have a sacred, revered feeling... The towering Himalayas rising from its sides helped this effect. But the garbage strewn hillside (out-of-view of the tourist trail up to the peak) and Chai/Coca-Cola stand at the top of the trail did not reinforce that initial feeling. Anyhow, I felt like this was a town I could relax in for a week (or a month) and I decided to find lodging. Once again, the odds were peculiar in my choice of hotel as I ended up in the same one as my uncle. I hadn't even know he was in Dharmasala! I walked around the town and the Lama's temples and saw some Buddhist ceremonies and religious 'arguments' and prayer flags, and I spun some prayer wheels, but the most memorable spiritual experience was during a lightning storm in the early evening of my third day... it was awesome in every sense of the word... Imagine pitch black (the power had gone out and the clouds were so dark that it wouldn't have mattered if it had been noon, it would have looked like midnight) and then imagine a bolt of lightning snaking through the air from the valley into the darkness above, so bright that you could see the base of the Mountains across the narrow valley light up... fading to a silhouette illuminated near the top by another bolt of lightning in the neighboring valley... then imagine another bolt of lightning flashing before the view had disappeared before your eyes... and then imagine another bolt of lightning, and another, and another.... so frequent that it would be possible to walk around (had you not been sure of being struck). Imagine all of this with the impossibly loud thunder vibrating through your body from every direction, as the hair on your arms and legs stand on end and you can taste the electricity in the air. And then a light rain starts moving between the mountains but there is no wind except for fierce, brief gusts... and you can't tell if the rain cluster is moving or if the lightning is playing tricks with your vision because it isn't raining on you. And then imagine watching, feeling this for twenty minutes... after which the storm dies down and the lights flicker back on. There is no way to transition from that to the mundane.... so, two days later I caught a bus back to Dehli.

Dehli: This is the third time I had been to Dehli, but the first I had actually stopped to breath it in... I don't recommend breathing it in. As far as huge cities go, this one takes the prize in the 'total assault on the senses' category not to say I wouldn't want to visit it again, quite the contrary... I just mean, I loved it and I hated it, and I did both simultaneously. That's the feeling I got from India in general... but it was epitomized in Dehli. When I first arrived in Dehli I was road-trip cracked-out... It was, maybe, 16 hours rough ride through the night, I had tried taking something to help me sleep but it proved ineffective. I think I may have switched buses in the middle of the night. Ah, yes, I do remember now... no, wait that was at Agra later on in the story... Anyhow, I just remember being half conscious when the bus unloaded and I was too stupid to get off with the rest of the crowd. The bus continued on for another 15 minutes before I woke up enough to stumble off at the next stop. It was 6a.m. and hardly anybody was up, which was nice because it contrasted nicely to the onslaught of noises and smells and sights and tastes and textures that were around at noon. Luckily I found a rickshaw that took me to a hotel... which was extremely overpriced. They must have been able to tell how tired I was, but they underestimated how poor (& cheap) I can be; so I stumbled down the road to another place which didn't underestimate my stubborn personality. They gave me their crappiest room for a good price and then offered me a better room for the same price, but I was too exhausted to take the offer. I woke up around noonish and went out for breakfast...I only had a few days left to travel so I decided to do some souvenir hunting. I decided not to buy anything at that point, because I would be going to Agra for a couple days first. I would like to say right now that it is not a good idea to bargain for something without being prepared to buy it. Alot of shop owners got pretty pissed at me, and funny enough, they even remembered me when I walked back into their shops, accidently, upon my return from Agra. The taxi drivers must have got a good kick-down from a few of those shops... It was difficult to find a 'true' souvenir shop. Well, I'll get to those stories after Agra.

Agra: The Taj Mahal is over-rated. I think that I was finally getting a little home-sick by that time, but I enjoyed Agra all the same. It was overrated but that isn't to say it was an unenjoyable place to visit. One month in India is a long time for a first overseas trip. And I didn't end up in Agra as spontaneously as the rest of my destinations had been arrived at... I felt obligated to see it before I left. I knew everyone would ask how impressive it was when I returned (as they did) and I didn't want to explain I hadn't bothered to go. But I learned my lesson for future trips; just go with the flow. So, that's it, Agra was nice. I did see them mowing the lawns with cattle and that was something a little out of the ordinary.

Dehli, last call: As my enthusiasm for India waned so did my desire to tell of it, so in short; I returned to Dehli. I got decent accommodation and a taxi to take me souvenir shopping (for free, although he was pissed about it, when we returned he wanted money and I told him he had said it was free, and we got in an argument, and I know he was just struggling to survive... but I was making up for all the other times I had been scammed and had payed out), then, the next morning, I barely caught my flight back to the U.S. (with a stop in Amsterdam, possibly).

The British hostel guest was quite demeaning to the local population and would make comments about how much of a shithole the country and people were and how they were better off under colonialism. I wish I had told him how much of an ass he was.

My guide at Kaimoor Wildlife Part

The food. The food was so damn good... that is an understatement.

Mauro ready to ride. I was not.

Some random abandoned temple complex, no one there, not even tourists. There are so many in every part of India's landscape.

Festival for some god for some reason.

There were many friends on the path to my hostel. Not friends per se, in fact this one gave me a look that told me to keep walking.

Every night was a celebration.

I wonder what they thought would happen to their photo. They were so happy to have their picture taken, dreams of fame and national geographic might have been the gossip for the next couple days after my regional bus passed through... where was it? I was on my way to Jhansi/Orchha I believe. I must have seemed extraordinarily wealthy with my professional slr camera with logo neck strap, and I guess I was comparatively.